|things with brook
||[Jul. 3rd, 2006|01:54 am]
so there was the climax. we're at his friends house. im drunk. this whole ordeal happens. a scarry situation. in-n-out. cops almost involved. it turns out they were after someone else. loud music. stop it. stop drawing attention to me. kablam. he lost it. i lost it. secretly. (of course.) slap. slap. slaps on wrist. he pulls away the rubber band from me. and we're there. they all go inside. its just us. quiet. hes almost in tears. "look you're good enough, ok," he says. im speechless. where did that come from? i hug him. "you always think you're not good enough. and then you do this stupid shit, or you cut yourself," he gets out of the car. "i'll see you later, cause i know you're probably leaving." but im not. i dont want to leave him. not now. so i get out. "who says im leaving?" and he comes to me. so i hug him again. and then it happens. "i dont know if i love you anymore." my heart shatters. the tears come instantly. and i let him go. "i dont know what im saying. im just so frustrated. im sick of fighting. i dont want to become like nicole and dj. i love you too much too keep fighting with you." so its over. the angers out. things are better. he cried his eyes out last night cause he realized im the only one he wants to be with. and its amazing. its like. we started over. he wont stop telling me how much he loves me. or how beautiful i am. perhaps its cause his friend just lost the girl he loved over some drunken one-night-stand and hes heartbroken. we've come close to that. and he doesnt want to see it happen. i have him. right where i want him. and its the best.